Raising the bat in an freakish ice storm

In 2 days it’s Christmas. In 4 days I’m flying out of Toronto and heading (eventually) back home to Sydney for at least a year. What does all this mean? Life is pretty sweet! But it also means that there’s been of errands and organising and tying of loose ends to be done. Moving out of our apartment, selling possessions online, getting as much study done as humanly possible, driving to Toronto (twice) to get Chinese VISAs, organising Christmas presents, etc etc. It’s been a busy time! I realise someone like me who is currently unemployed complaining about being too busy is kind of like listening to a supermodel complain that she’s a fatty, but whatever, it’s all relative. (That is probably the first and last time I will ever compare myself to a supermodel by the way).

In short, it’s made my training/exercise/gym/running activities go the way of the dinosaurs- big and scary non-existent. Up to last week I had a fairly regular routine of doing a weights/gym session on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and doing some form of cardio on Tuesdays, Thursdays and generally Saturdays. In the blink of an eye I missed one day with moving out, missed another having to drive 6 hours and run errands in Toronto (running errands doesn’t count as running), and missed countless runs due to weather (ok, and a couple of hangovers).

I then realised that I was stuck on 99 runs for the year, and had been for the past 11 days of this mini-slump. Like a batsmen stuck nervously at the crease, I couldn’t get to 100 and raise the bat as easily as it had been to get to 99. But luckily I’m more of a Matty Hayden than a choking Shane Watson-type, and finally Sunday morning came around with no plans until a family Christmas that afternoon-perfect time for a run! Only problem was, there had been freezing rain falling all throughout Saturday night, resulting in one of the worst ice storms in recent history, and EVERYTHING outside was covered in 1-2cms of hard ice.

I nearly reconsidered heading out, but with a power outage and everyone reminded me how much I’d been bitching to go ice-skating all month (for the record, I still haven’t been) they said if I went for a run in these conditions, it’d be basically like ice-skating anyway.

So out I went, with the temperature a surprisingly warm 1 degree. Every branch of every tree was covered in ice. The powerlines, the cars, everything. Snow covering everything in winter is perfectly normal, but ice covering everything is rare (although I’ve seen it twice this year-the other time back in April). I can’t explain the science behind it, but I can scientifically confirm that every Canadian freaks out about it. No one drives on the roads, everyone stocks up on food and water and any plans they had get cancelled, as they are scared of the ice boogey man, or something like that. I guess some of it is warranted-we are still without power and don’t expect it back for 3-4 days.

I started my jog down the dirt road, now a mix of dirt, gravel and slushy ice. With the temperature rising, the ice was slowly but surely melting, and therefore breaking off violently in golf-ball sized chunks from every large tree I passed under. The more trees I passed, I realised how much damage the storm had caused-branches up to 20 feet long snapped off, and some trees fallen entirely, due to the extra weight of the ice they were now bearing. Although no powerlines were downed like in the last storm, I could hear the hum of a tractor idling at each and every house I passed, as the tractor had been hooked up to their back up generator. I only passed 5 houses, but still, 5 for 5 is pretty good.

Turning onto a sealed road, the ice became less dangerous underfoot, but was still keeping my eyes peeled above me. Even in treeless stretches I heard the crashing of ice onto the snow beside me, and couldn’t quite work out the reason. I then noticed the powerlines running parallel to the road-they were covered in a layer of ice as well, and when the wind picked up it would send long barbs of ice down below, some up to 4 foot long. So my choice was to run on the left side of the road and avoid the golf ball sized chunks falling non-stop from the trees, or run down the right hand side and avoid the long spears falling less frequently from the powerlines. Who said running wasn’t a contact sport?

Well on this morning it wasn’t…I managed a 10km out-and-back run and somehow managed to avoid getting hit. Considering it was my first run in forever I wasn’t setting any goals, and with the conditions (and lack of fitness) I was slower than Oprah to a salad bar, but I considered it an achievement to amazingly not get hit by any ice.

It was one of the more surreal runs out of the 100 I’ve done this year, and getting out and admiring this strange winter wonderland was definitely the right choice rather than staying indoors.

Ice Ice baby

Behind that thick, manly beard you'll see a tree bending due to the weight of the ice

Trees ready to unleash ice on anyone who passes them

Frozen car (even the antenna)

Wind the window down, and you still have a window. Freaky

 

Awesome thing about running #74: Finding stuff

Whether it’s something big or something small, finding stuff is definitely one bonus about running. Sure, you can “find yourself” or “find inner happiness” or some hippy crap like that, but I’m talking about finding actual I-can-touch-you-and-use-you-in-real-life stuff! Whether it’s money (my record is nearly $9 in coins), sunglasses, or a perfectly good bike lock with key, I’ve found some sweet stuff while running, and yes, I have kept them. When 98% of your runs aren’t races, it’s kind of like getting a medal all on your own, even if you suck!

Joelo and I putting together our coins after a day's running during our Melbourne to Sydney run...that's enough for a steak dinner a free Maccas meal right there!

Indoor Sprint Triathlon Simulation

Before NASA sends their astronauts into space, they conduct extremely realistic simulations so the astronauts have some practice and experience, and know exactly what to do in any given situation that could potentially pop up. Yesterday I did something a little different upon my visit to the gym. No, unfortunately they don’t have an NASA rocket ship simulator otherwise I would still be there, 24 hours later. I didn’t go to space either, I just wanted to talk about astronauts, because whenever I excitedly bring up the topic at the dinner table it usually gets brushed away pretty quickly. And because astronauts are freaking cool. Anyway…

On the treadmill. I mean, cool picture, huh!

 

A few weeks back I mentioned I wanted to race in a triathlon in the near future, (hoping for one next year) so I thought I’d squeeze every dollar out of my two month gym membership and jump in the pool a little more (which was pretty easy since I have barely ever swum laps, and certainly not in the past two years).

A week or so ago, I came up with an idea that got me a little excited. Not so excited that a little bit of pee came out, (but even if it did, I was in the pool, so it wouldn’t have been so embarrassing), but excited nonetheless. I would do my own triathlon, right here in the gym! Just like an astronaut simulation! You beauty!

I knew the distances for a Sprint Triathlon were 750m swim, 20k ride and 5k run. So my immediate goal was to use the next week to be able to actually swim that distance in one go without floaties without taking a rest. I knew I could wing it on the bike, and wing it on the run, but the swim I couldn’t fake. I managed a 750m swim on the Monday, and in my next session that Friday, upped it to 1km. I was set!

The YMCA pool. Although very tempting, I haven't used the waterslide yet.

 

Now I know this “indoor simulation” is far from a realistic triathlon experience, but that’s not the point. The point was to get my confidence up and know how my body reacts after doing all three disciplines back to back (to back)…which I found out pretty quickly! I wasn’t going for broke or pushing my absolute limits-just by completing it I’d have a (training) PB. I was just looking forward to having a bit of fun with a different training method. If you were to ask any triathlete which has more favourable conditions, Indoor v Outdoor, I have no doubt they’d say indoor. But I thought about the advantages and disadvantages for my experience anyway:

Swim:
Advantages- Not open or rough water. It would be as calm as an Enya soundtrack on repeat, and I’d get to push off the wall every lap. No traffic-meaning I won’t get kicked in the face by a stray foot. And it’s consistently consistent-just follow that black line until 30 laps are done, straight as an arrow!

Transition 1:
Disadvantages- Countless, adding on wasteful minutes, as described below.

Bike:
Advantages- No hills, no traffic, no risk of a flat tyre, no risk of collision (I can even close my eyes or read a book if I wanted to).

Disadvantages- Not a tailored bike to suit me, and no gears (only effort level). I can’t use my Garmin watch to record data, and the TV screen does not show current pace, and shows distance in miles (that’s a mental kick in the nuts trying to do sums to work out how fast you are going).
And correct me if wrong but I don’t think you can “coast” on stationary bikes-meaning once you stop pedalling and the power meter reads “0”, your distance won’t increase-stationary bikes don’t “roll”.

Transition 2:Advantages and disadvantages fairly minimal

Run:
Advantages- Like the bike, no hills, no crowds, no suprises. A perfectly flat 5k.

Disadvantages-Treadmill running is different. The fact I have to manually enter what speed I want to go rather than naturally listen to how my body is behaving and react accordingly-this could leave me more fatigued if I accidentally have a speed set too high, or I could not push hard enough and get complacent. (Yes I can manually adjust speed during run but it’s not the same). However, this could be seen as an advantage, as even if I’m super tired, instead of the legs slowly down, they have no choice but to keep up otherwise I’ll get kicked off the back of the treadmill!
Like the bike, no Garmin for recording pace, and Treadmill monitor is also in miles.

In general:Advantages- Perfect weather, regulated temperature. It’s FREEEEEEEEE!!!! I will most definitely win.
Disadvantages- No medal for motivation, and no one to scream “hurry up you board short wearing bearded slacker!!” or similar which would be motivational (and depressing at the same time). I will most definitely come last.

Arriving at the gym on Tuesday I decided I’d give it a crack. I sure as hell didn’t look prepared, let alone like a triathlete. I was wearing my trusty Rip Curl boardies from Year 9, my mop hair flopping around without a swim cap on, with my fuzzy beard in the “Alan from the Hangover” stage and fast approaching the “Gimli from Lord of the Rings stage”. I was going to be about as streamline as an unshaved donkey in the pool.

Surprisingly, I somehow don't give off a "real swimmer vibe" in my Rip Curl boardies...but at least I have googles now! (Learnt that the hard way after two eyefuls of chlorine after my first attempt).

 

I hopped in the pool, dodging the lanes filled with seniors waiting for their aqua-aerobics class and checked the clock on the wall. 8.28am. Off I went. Considering I’d only swam this distance non-stop twice before, I didn’t start out extremely hard, for fear I’d end up on the bottom of the pool after two laps and have to be saved by the male lifeguard-who, judging from our lenghty conversations I can’t avoid each time, probably wouldn’t have enjoyed. I counted the laps in my head, while repeating my personal mantra I’d developed for my technique (please don’t drown, please don’t drown, please don’t drown), and before I knew it, 30 laps and 750 metres were behind me. I checked the clock. 8.45am. Swim done and dusted in a respectable (for me) 17 minutes.

Out I hopped and had to scurry past the lifeguard with only a quick wave rather than listening to a life story, and was onto the next discipline. But not so fast…

Instead of in triathlon conditions where I could jump straight from the water on to the bike in under 60 seconds, I’d have to go through the following painful process: Get out of pool, have a mandatory shower before entering locker room, it’s then mandatory to completely dry off before entering locker room, unlock locker, fumble around for clothes and swap into gym clothes, (optional: dry off boardies in the sweet drying machine in the hallway), lock locker, walk down the hallway and up the stairs to the gym and hope there is one of the three stationary bikes free for me to use. If it doesn’t sound like a long time, it is when you’re timing yourself. By the time I’d hurriedly scrubbed up and completely dried off it’d been a good 5 minutes. After quickly getting dressed, darting upstairs and looked for a bike, it’d been 8 minutes. I’m sure this would be dead last in any triathlon and about eight times longer than average, but I was working with what I had! Rules are rules.

The bike started out average. I fumbled around with my Ipod trying to connect it to the computer system mounted in front of me, but with no luck. I persevered for a minute or two, but realised I was hardly spinning the legs at all and decided to forget it all together. I expected to cover the 20k stationary ride in somewhere around the 45-55 minute mark, considering I hadn’t jumped on a real bike since June. And when I say “real bike” I mean my girlfriends commuter bike she bought from Walmart for $200…so a professional tri bike it was not. It’s like training for a hot dog eating contest by eating hamburgers every night. (Which I was doing that too).

My view during the ride. NFL on the screen and "motivational" whiteboard by the stairs

 

Although it was only a short 20k ride, to be honest, after only ten minutes I could feel the burn and knew that with no specific bike training this was not going to be smooth sailing, especially after a stint in the pool. I kept checking my time, and the miles covered, then converting them into kilometres, then trying to figure out my pace-all things that would be done for me if I could have use my GPS Garmin watch. I’m sure that slowed me down, as well as the fact my mounted TV screen was showing NFL highlights from the weekend making my concentration drift elsewhere. This “simulation” was starting to get farther from realistic with each minute.

At the gym, by the stairs there is always a daily motivational message to get you going as you enter. The other day’s was- “Change ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can’ and pretty soon you’ll be saying ‘I did’”. I thought that one was pretty neat. Looking for some instant inspiration on the bike, I looked towards the whiteboard and read the message “Don’t strive for perfection, strive for improvement”. WTF! I was looking for inspiration-this was crap! Maybe only because I was struggling on the bike, I interpreted this negatively and thought they might as well write “meh, why bother trying to be the best, just be average, it’s fine, take a break!”. Not exactly what I was hoping for.

53 minutes and 16 seconds later I was finished with the bike. Not a fabulous result, with a 23kph average, but it would do for a first attempt back in the saddle for awhile. I wiped the bike down, and refilled my bottle, within two minutes, jumped on the closest treadmill I found and started a jog. Unfortunately it was one I’d never used before and couldn’t work out how to even show me my elapsed time or distance. (That is now two simple electronic devices I couldn’t work today-I thought you were immune from that cluelessness until you were at least 40!). Quickly hitting the “emergency stop” button, I bailed on it, and went to a more old school one, but this chewed up a bit more time and unnecessary running into the mix.
I set it to 8mph speed, guessing that was around 5min/k’s. This wasn’t blistering pace, certainly not for a quick 5k run, where I’d hope for like 4min/k’s, but I thought I’d settle in and see how I felt. Whether it was because the treadmill was displayed in miles or otherwise, the numbers ticked over painfully slowly, and instead of pumping the pace up like I’d expected, I often found myself nudging it down a few notches. Heck I even considered walking after ten minutes, especially after I felt the oncoming rush of a full fledged GINTEN brewing, but decided I wouldn’t have lived it down and pushed on. It was moments like these where I could see why having a crowd cheer you on in the race would be a massive boost, rather than in simulation mode, staring at a wall, with the thoughts going through your head that if you quit, no one would ever know. The unsympathetic wall didn’t motivate me to increase the speed, but my bowels and my pride did, and I finished the run in a decent enough 23.30. A time I would have been far less than happy with were it a stand alone run, but after a swim and a ride, was quite content with.

Couldn't find a good treadmill picture. So here's one of an astronaut rocking out

 

Stumbling down the stairs and back to the locker room I checked the time. 10.11. I’d just completed a Sprint Distance Triathlon training session, albeit in a little different circumstances, in around 1:43, and was quite happy with myself. Sure, it’s the baby distance of triathlons, and would be around back-of-the-pack effort on your average Sunday Triathlon, but knowing I could cover the distance gave me the confidence to actually enter one and give it a real shake, with 100% effort in a race environment.

Looking back at the result, I know I can improve on my swim time, as that was literally my seventh time in the pool in (just about) as many years, and am just getting back into it, let alone looking to improve speed.

The transition 1 time is something I’ll have to live with, being in a gym environment. It sucks having unnecessary minutes tacked on to your time showering/drying/changing because of the environment and rules, but I won’t complain since I have a perfectly flat bike and run course to follow-maybe it all evens out in the end?

The bike session didn’t throw me any surprises, although it was harder than I thought. I don’t enjoy the bike as much as I do running, and my lack of training (absolutely ZERO) shines through. With a weekly session or two on the bike, I’m sure I could drop this time by a good ten minutes.

The run was a lot tougher than any other 5k treadmill run that I’ve done, and if I think about how knackered I actually felt yesterday during it, I’m happy with that result (for the moment). It’s not my best distance (what am I talking about-I hardly ever do speed work or race-no distance is my best distance!), but I’ve gone sub 20 mins in 5k training runs before. That might be a tough ask initially, after a swim/ride, but I’d likely aim for around 22 mins next time.

Overall, it was clean, good ol’ fashioned fun on a Tuesday morning, considering it was -10 degrees outside. Perhaps I’ll repeat it, and try and beat my time next week. If I’m really committed, I might even shave the beard off and really give that swim a crack!

Swim	17:00	Approximate. From analogue clock on wall-could have been 16:XX, or 17:XX
T1	8:00	Approximate. From analogue clock, until I reach my  watch in my locker. 7:XX, or 8:XX
Bike	53:16
T2	2:16	The treadmill stuff up contributed here, but should be 60 seconds generally
Run	23:30
Total Net (w/out transitions)	1:32:46
Transitions	10:16
Total (Incl. transitions)	1:43:02

 

Early December Happenings

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I swapped my running shoes for, well, no shoes, and have been getting in the pool 2-3 times a week. I’m yet to see that “practice makes perfect”, but it sure makes for massive improvement. My first attempt at being Ian Thorpe saw me cover 750 metres in total, in the slowest possible fashion, mostly at a mere 50 metres at a time, and never more than 100 consecutive metres before needing a rest. Ok less like Ian Thorpe and more like Geoff Huegill...(not in his awesome Olympic-medal winning form but when he retired and was 138kgs a year later I mean)

But, with nowhere to go but up, I set out to do each session a little longer, or a little faster, or with a few less breaks. And like Geoff Huegill’s waistline, my performance levels increased. In my 5^th pool session I managed to cover the same 750 metres, without breaks, all in one go. In my 6^th and most recent session, I upped it to 1km, again, without a break. With perhaps time for another 6 sessions before the end of the year when we move to Australia I’ll set 1.5kms straight as a goal. Then I’ll likely swim as often as I did before this (hardly ever) and could quite possibly be 138kgs shortly afterwards.

Like Huegill, with the lack of swimming, and increased number of beers and pizzas I'll have next year, this will probably be me.

 

Speaking of swapping shoes, I got a brand spanking new pair this week…my first pair since April. I wasn’t particularly looking for a pair, but after discovering a Saucony outlet store on my way home from Toronto on Wednesday, I stopped in and pick up a pair of Saucony Peregrines, for the outlet price of $90…too good of a deal to pass up. I haven’t really owned a specific “Trail running shoe” before, but starting next year my TNF100 training will be based mostly off-road, so I thought I’d make the jump…and although I couldn’t test them out on the trail just down the road (the causeway to cross the river was flooded due to melting snow) I tried them out on the gravel roads-and they felt quite good! In fact the guy that finished 2^nd at TNF100 last year wore this shoe, so it can’t be too bad!

The new kicks

With no snow falling for a week and some not so friggin bull-bustingly freezing temperatures days of 3-6 degrees the majority of snow around town melted away enough and I was able to get a few road runs in, and I was able to avoid the dreadmill for another week. But the current 14 day forecast doesn’t have a day above 0 Celsius so I might be stuck inside more than I’d like. (I think I’m pretty hardcore, but -11 degrees isn’t exactly tanning weather). Luckily I found an alternative…

A few Snowmen died this week in Clinton...but they'll be back next week

 

From my observations, a general rule in rural small town Canada, is if your town is big enough to have a dinky little corner store, it’s also big enough to have a state of the art indoor ice-hockey arena. Which is good news for runners as there will generally be a walking/running track surrounding the ice in which to strut your stuff. Although running circles around a track is nearly in the same boredom category of a treadmill, in my town of Clinton, the track is elevated above the stadium seating, meaning not only do I have 200 metres of track to play with, but can do stair sessions by scooting up and down the seating aisles each time I round the track. With six aisles of 18 stairs for a total of 108 stairs per lap, it adds a little variety, and as I found out after my first session the other day, if I run the stairs exclusively (without rounding the track) it gets pretty tiring pretty quickly! Since it’s indoors it’s a little annoying I can’t track these runs on Strava, but a nice little bit of variety anyway.

Favourite use for Clinton Arena: Watching a hockey game with a beer in hand

Second favourite use: Running the track and stairs

 

I was at Goderich gym after my pool session this week and noticed a bloke doing pull-ups, who was maybe in his mid fifties, athletic as all hell and sported a classic yellow and blue “2009 Boston Marathon” shirt on. I thought I’d give him some props, and we had an exchange like this:

Me: “Nice shirt you got there mate”
Him: “Thanks, have you got one?”
Me: “No, but I hope to one day”. (I’m assuming he meant a Boston Marathon shirt, not just a shirt in general, since I was wearing one)
Him: “I’ve got nine of them”.

Jerk.

After clarifying that he meant nine Boston Marathon shirts, and not nine “2009” ones that he picked up in a sale after the race, but that he had actually ran the Boston Marathon nine years in a row, we got chatting about our running resumes. Well, his resume mainly. When he introduced himself as “Steve”, I realised who I was talking to. This was Steve Beasley, a Goderich local and renowned runner in these parts. I’d heard of him back in April when he came 3^rd in his age group in the Boston marathon. That’s right-not only does he qualify for and run in the iconic Boston Marathon each year, but he competes in it at a competitive level. After creeping looking up some results online, turns out his 2:49 effort this year was good enough for a finish 744^th overall, which although doesn’t sound super impressive, consider the following:

-There are around 27,000 who enter this race, the vast majority of which have to qualify to enter, therefore
-It is THE most competitive marathon in the world, attracting the world’s best runners.
-Steve is a 50-something year old bloke from Canada, not a 20 or 30 something year old Kenyan.

It sure says something. And that something is that Steve is a gun runner. I never asked what his marathon PB was, but after bitching about the cold weather to him, he mentioned he’d run in -42 degrees Celsius in Northern Ontario, which is nearly as impressive as his marathon times I reckon. It was pretty cool to swap stories with a runner of that calibre, and it certainly made me think I can suck it up and deal with the temperatures this next week anyway!

 

 

The unstoppable, unpleasant, unwanted occurrence known a GINTEN

Disclaimer: this post is not exactly classy, and if you prefer not to read about poop, maybe you should skip this one or read another post. Here is one that mentions the word poop less than three times. If you don’t mind some toilet humour writing…you are in the right place!

Shit happens. Whether it Forrest Gump coined that phrase, or it was the Italians back in the 1700’s when they said “le shit le happens”, we can never really be sure of, but we all know it’s true. And unfortunately for runners, sometimes you just get it has to happen midrun. We’ve all been there. (Or maybe we all haven’t…if you haven’t, I have been there enough for all of us so don’t worry). You are zipping along at a nice pace, listening to your favourite music, nothing could be better…and then all of sudden you think “Geez I Need To Excrete Now”…or if you prefer short form- GINTEN. In fact, we’ll just call acting on that impulse a GINTEN, to keep it PG-rated. Anyone that’s run with me, or listened to me talk about running will know, a good ol’ GINTEN gets the best of me on just about any run longer 10 minutes an hour. It’s my Achilles heel if you will. Some runners look at focusing on improving their speed, others their endurance, and they will do specific workouts to target their weakness. Me, I need to somehow work on avoiding the curse of GINTEN, and I’m just not sure how to train for that. Sure I need to improve my pace, endurance, hills, and all sorts of stuff as well but those don’t leave me with my pants around my ankles.

Now when you are trail running, it almost comes with the territory…you can duck off through the trees, off the path and GINTEN your little heart out, with an abundance of natural TP (leaves) at your disposal. When it’s a Canadian winter the natural TP becomes snow, which as you can imagine, leaves you with a chilly bum for the remainder of the run. But when you’re out running on the roads, it’s a bit of a different story. You are left with your head buzzing with a million different options, none of them very good.

Do I wait til there’s no cars, and go for the super speedy sneaky GINTEN?

Do I go behind that house over there and hope no-ones home?

Do I just forget about all the worries and do the there-for-the-whole-world-to-see GINTEN?

There is no way you can continue enjoying a nice run when these are the immediate thoughts and this is THE priority in your head.

I mention all of this, because less than two weeks ago, I got caught GINTENing.

It was a chilly Monday morning in Goderich, and I’d found a new patch of bushland and new there was a looped trail in there somewhere. So off I went. Within a few minutes of setting off through the thick pine and cedar trees, it was not only the cold that made me want to crawl back into the warm comforts of the car, it was my gut-it was hintin’ for a GINTEN. I thought about giving in to the urge, then and there at only 1km into the run. I thought about stopping my watch and perhaps starting over again once I’d made myself a bit lighter. I thought about why people don’t say “world wide web” yet say the three times as long “double u, double u, double u” when speaking of a website. And by the time I’d thought of all these things, I’d complete one loop of the 3km trail and was back to where I’d begun, in sight of the car park where the car was.

I waddled to the car, trying not to look like hippo about to give birth to a brown hippo baby and grabbed some tissues. As I headed back toward the trailhead to find some cover, I saw there were now two cars that weren’t there when I started, which presumably meant there were at least two people using the trail. I now had two options of where to drop a GINTEN…left or right. I picked right, since I’d just come from the left and hadn’t passed anyone on my anti-clockwise route, and figured that the new trail users must have also gone the same way. Knowing that it was such a short loop and time was of the essence, I picked my spot a few metres off the path and did what had to be done. Midway through, I heard a voice…”Sammy!”. “Sammy come back here!”

As it turns out, Sammy was a big slobbering German Shepherd with a keen nose for pooping runners. She followed her nose towards me and just about bowled me over as I was mid-GINTEN. With Sammy vying for my attention, I hastily finished up my biz, and returned those few metres back to the trail and put on a sheepish smile as Sammy’s middle aged owner looked at me with a confused look on her face. In what was an extremely awkward exchange, I said hello, and she continued to look at me like I’d just come out of the bushes with her dog while having my pants down. (Which, I guess was technically true). She continued on her way toward the trail entrance, and I pretended to started jogging the other way, but instead of feeling wonderful, light and ready to run post-GINTEN, I felt weird (and still extremely cold), so called it a day, trotted back to the warmth of the car. I drove back home, where I could poop in the privacy of my own bathroom, without the risk of being interrupted by a German Shepherd.

 

Fail...I dumped

 

 

 

I thought the bush was thick enough cover...apparently not for Sammy

 

Maybe this book isn't as stupid as it sounds